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Confessions from a Pastor EP1: Speaking in Tongues

A pastor giving us an insight into his personal story. In this episode he discusses how he spoke in tongues and taught it even though it never did anything for him.

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Whore of Babylon Announced

We love and support Jeff Turner. We think he’s the bee’s knees! Buy his book “Sinners in the Arms of an Happy God”. With that said… the prophets have spoken…

New Date for the Rapture

Our resident prophets have come out from their seclusion to give us an urgent message on the rapture… and to inform us of their new line of Holy Water coming out! I can hardly wait!!!

Double Dose of Camel Moose (Rapture and Anti-Christ)

Our favorite prophet comes with TWO messages! One announcing the rapture and one announcing the antichrist. Who would have thought that Lana Del Ray would have such an impact on the prophetic giftings of the Christian church?

But in all seriousness, I love Caleb Miller and Mike Miller! Check out anything they do on Facebook or on their website CLICK HERE or YouTube CLICK HERE. They are honest Christians without all the bullshit.

How To Get Into Heaven

After much study and contemplation, I’ve discovered what the final judgement will look like. Answer correctly, and enter into eternal life. Answer foolishly, and into the lake of fire with you. Let’s all hope we are not asked what the capital of Assyria is…

Side note: Learn as much about swallows as you can. It just might secure your salvation.

Care Bears are of the Devil – Camel Moose

Our resident prophet Camel Moose from on high has come down from his mountain top. This time his message is urgent. I URGE you to take this with all seriousness. We must be vigilant, even against the penis worshiping, Satan horned, Wiccan Care Bears.