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Spiritual Warfare (Part 2)

Spiritual Warfare pt 2.

While deep in meditation the other day, I was taken to the third level of prophetic revelation in the spirit. The Lord laid before me a catalog from Toys-R-Us. An audible voice then spoke to me, “Behold, the doorway of demonic activity into the lives of children.” As I turned the pages the spirit downloaded information into my heart. He showed me the demonic influences on common toys. If you find any of these toys in your home you must deal with them like a witch. Stone the toy, burn it, or drown the toy at the bottom of a lake. DO NOT keep the toy in your home. You have been warned.

A very popular movie out right now. However, the themes in this movie are downright evil and demonic. Let’s first point out the obvious: magic. This movie is about a princess who can cast ice magic. When a child see’s this they will want to join a witches covenant to be like their Disney princess idol.

One of the theme songs of the movie is, “Let It Go.” Let what go? It’s very clear once you watch the movie. This movie is instructing our children to let go of their morality, let go of their faith in Christ, and latch onto the occult witchcraft of ice magic. No ice magic is strong enough to protect you from the eternal flames of a devils hell.

Finally, and most disturbing, this movie promotes lesbianism and incest. One of the main characters was informed in this movie that the only thing that could save her was true love. The movie was filled with strong men who would be more than suitable to be her true love. But, it was the love of her sister that broke the spell. Sister love? It makes me sick.

Little Mermaid
Many don’t realize that this movie promotes Mormonism. Let’s look at the facts: every one of King Tridents daughters looked differently. From a blond, to a red head, to a brunette, to a black haired daughter. The reason for so many different looking daughters is because Trident had many wives.

This movie also promotes bestiality. Ariel is not a human, she is a mermaid. Prince Eric is not a merman, he is a human being. These are two different classes of species. When Eric married and kissed Ariel it’s tantamount to a human having intercourse with a horse. They may display human like qualities, but you must never act on your desire to make love to horses. Even though their main and rippling thighs might remind you of a womans, a horse is a horse. Ariel is a mermaid. Eric is a human. End of story.

Walt Disney should be ashamed of himself. Right now his demonic spirit possesses the staff at Disney Studios to continue to promote ungodly ideas and dogmas. All we can do is wait for the return of the Lord when Christ will make all these ungodly people pay for their mistakes with their blood. Grace and peace to you all. Amen.


Spiritual Warfare (Part 1)

Many people are unaware of the demonic presence that lurks in every area in their life. Lucky for you, God has anointed me with a special gifting called Discerning of Spirits. I can see spiritual influences and guide you on how to cast out these demons from your life. I will now discuss three most overlooked demonic influences in peoples lives.

The first demonic spirit I would like to discuss is McNuggitkins. This demon latches onto your intestinal regions and causes excruciating pain and foul flatulence. He is picked up through demonic portals called fast food restaurants. This demon is expelled through rectal exorcism.

Second, Rosa Contianamo is a spirit that slowly leaches onto your finances and drains it one dollar at a time. This spirit is picked up from “Red Box” stations when one rents a dvd. The demon will then cause memory loss. The oppressed will not remember when they rented the dvd or where they placed the dvd, causing them to pay daily rental fee’s. This demon leaves after a month after you’ve paid enough money to own the dvd. The dvd will appear two months later.

Finally, Reasonakkon is one of the most vile demons. This demon will have you think of logical questions to cliche religious answers. He will cleverly have you rethink ideas that you were taught when you were 5 years old and try to make you “grow up.” Exorcising this demon requires copious hours of Christian television preachers to brain wash… I mean brain cleanse you.

As I receive insight to these demonic influences I will share them with you. Until then stay fearful and vigilant.

Job on the Maury Show

“Hello, Welcome to the Maury Show! I’m Maury. Today we are joined by a woman we will only refer to as Job’s Wife. She is here today because she wants Job to admit he is a sinner, and curse God. Tell us your story.”

“Well, I stay at home all day because I cant work, due to my back problems. Anyways, Job gots some money he won with some investments and whatnot. He done got broke, done got sick, all our children got killed, we lost everything Maury! He’s hiding something and is not admitting it. I just wish he would curse God and die, but he aint man enough to do that!”

Maury reached his hand out and placed it on Job’s Wife’s knee. “I’m sorry to hear that. Lets bring out Job!”

As soon as Job walked out on the stage, the crowd booed. Maury motioned for Job to sit on the chair next to his wife.

Maury leaned in, “Tell us Job. Whats going on? Your life is falling apart. What are you hiding?”

Job replied waving his hands in the air, “Listen, I said this once and I will say it again. I have done nothing wrong. I have no idea why this is happening to me. All I know is I’m innocent.”

Job’s Wife snapped her fingers, “When you gonna man up and admit it? I’m tired of being married to a broke man with sores all up and down his business!” The crowd burst into applause.

“Job, your wife is not the only one who is worried about you. You also have some friends here who have something to say to you. Can we bring out Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar? Lets bring them out!”

Jobs three friends came out on stage, screaming at the crowd, “You don’t know me! Whatever! Whatever! I’ll fight you! Get over it!” Maury motioned for the three to sit down. “What do you want to say to your friend, Job?”

Eliphaz stood up and pointed at Job. “When have the innocent ever suffered? Its the wicked that face destruction! Be happy at this! God is correcting you. Tell us your sin!”

Job shook his head. “I want to die! I wish God had enough mercy to destroy me right now. If there is a sin I committed, please show me! Where did I go wrong!?”

Bildad snapped his fingers. “Job, you arrogant ass. Is Gods judgement perverted? God will not throw away a perfect man, and he sure aint helping your evil self! Look at your life. Your evil deeds are on display like the sores on your skin. Give us all the respect we deserve and just admit it.”

Job sighed. “I wish I could give you what you want. I have poured myself out to God, but I don’t understand him. If I am in the wrong, then good! I deserve this. But I know I’m right and it confuses me. This is my dilemma. I pray for death. It seems to be the only relief I will get from all this madness.”

“Let me stop you right there,” yelled Zophar. “You said that you KNOW your right? You said you KNOW you’ve done nothing wrong? You deserve worse than your getting. You need to thank God right now that he’s having so much mercy on you.”

“Wow,” replied Job. “First, I want to thank all of my wonderful friends, and my uplifting wife for all their support. But here’s my conclusion, I don’t care! I know that I don’t deserve this. I know that I am righteous. If this is my reward for being righteous, then so be it, because I still choose to be righteous! I will not admit to any wrong doing, and I will continue to do the right thing because therein is the reward. It’s not that God will bless me, or all my friends will understand me, but the power is in the choice itself.”

Maury glanced down at his card, then back up at the camera. “Job, we want you to stay seated for this. We have another special guest. Can we bring God out here?”

God walked out with Satan on stage, waving. Job looked at God, confused.

“Job, first off let me say that all your friends were wrong and you were right. This didn’t happen because of any wrong doing on your part. Me and Satan had a bet going, and let me tell you… you did good kid! You won my bet!”

Satan shrugged, “Ya, I thought you were going to break. But you held on pretty good.”

Job looked at God with his mouth gaping wide open. “Why? Why did you do that? All the pain, and suffering, and anguish… why?”

God straightened himself up in his chair. “Job, where were you when I put all this together? Where were you when I created everything? Did you raise the mountains and lower the seas? I’ve destroyed SEA MONSTERS, Job! What have you done?”

Maury leaned in, “God, you seem to be deflecting the question. Could you answer Jobs question?”

God leaned back in his chair. “Nope. But hey! I’ll make it up to him and everyone else in the audience! If you look under your seats, I’ve given each of you a new car!”

The audience erupted in applause and started chanting, “Maury! Maury! Maury!”

Maury smiled and looked back into the camera, “I want to thank our guests for joining us today. Tomorrow on the Maury Show; My Daughter Dresses Too Sexy! We’ll see you then.”

Sympathy for the Devil – Episode 1

It was a Sunday afternoon at the McDonalds. The older crowd was arriving, hoping to get their fill of some burgers and fries while wearing their Sunday best. Sitting at a booth in the back by the restrooms was an elderly gentleman. Wearing Khaki pants, a white button-up shirt, and penny loafers he sported a trendy ketchup stain on his potbelly.

The elder gentleman looked up from his meal of chicken nuggets to lock eyes with a young man Hispanic walking in the door. The gentleman’s eyebrows lifted up as he recognized him and motioned him to come over. As the young man made his way over to the corner booth, his baggy denim jeans and extra large teeshirt swooshed with every step. The young man sat down and took one of the gentleman’s chicken nuggets and ate it. Both smiled at each other.

“Michael! How have you been these days,” inquired the gentleman.

“Busy, but very good. What are we calling you these days? Nick? Scratchy? I never know anymore,” asked Michael.

The gentleman laughed to himself. Michael always could make him laugh. “Call me Doug. How are the others? Hows the boss man doing?”

“Everyone is fine,” Michael responded quickly shifting in his chair, as if there was something else he wanted to say.

Doug leaned in with a glimmer in his eyes. “What is it Mikey? Things aren’t going well? I’m telling you, the guys a total tyrant. The hell I took when I offered a different opinion was, in my estimation, a huge overreaction. I mean, how you can still be with a guy who treats his own like that is beyond me.”

Michael sighed. “Who am I to judge his action? As I have said a million times before, what you say does make sense. But, its tainted. It’s tainted by your jealousy, by your hate, by your pride. What I wanted to say is that we miss you. You are always welcome back!”

At that remark Doug pulled back. “You ask who are you to judge his actions?! I don’t know, someone with common sense. Is my view tainted? You better believe its tainted. I don’t know if you know what it feels like to be utterly rejected. To fall so far, that every light in heaven seems to dim. All you have is hope that you will be able to hold onto one of those lights. The deeper you go, the dimmer the light. You struggle, grasp, and claw, but its always out of your reach. Until one day, the light disappears. Then your alone. So kiss my ass, Michael. Open your damn eyes.”

“It doesn’t take long to get sucked back into this conversation, does it? In all honesty ‘Doug’, I would think after all this time you would have come to your senses and realize no one made you do the things you’ve done. You made the choice, no one forced your hand.”

Doug laughed.

Michael leaned in, “C’mon. You had a part to play! At least admit that!”

Doug nodded his head with a smirk on his face. “Your right Michael. I did have a part to play. I played the part I was created to play. You talk about choice as if choosing ‘yes’ or ‘no’ is on equal scales. I had nothing but a desire in me to do what I did. There was no counter balance. It’s easy for you to sit smug. It’s like someone telling a drug addict, ‘Just don’t smoke crack anymore! Just say no!’ They can’t help that there is a screaming voice in them saying ‘YES!’.”

Michael shook his head. “Whose voice is that, Doug?”

Doug rolled his eyes. “Michael. Grow up. You’ve been watching too many TV preachers. Thats the voice of freedom. It’s funny how people talk about how special the freedom of choice is. They value the idea that they are not robots. And yet, they all scapegoat the one who made it all possible.”

Michael responded, “So now your taking the credit for free will? Why can’t you see this is what you always do? You twist it to be all about you?”

Doug looked down and placed a chicken nugget in his mouth. “Thats because it is, Michael.”